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姓名: 马奇飞

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【转载】中国学生如何避免和寄宿家庭之间的三大常见争端 (2014-01-27 02:24:14)
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How to Prevent the 3 Most Common Misunderstandings between Chinese Students and Host Families

如何避免中国学生和寄宿家庭之间的三大常见争端


As the chief liaison between host families and Chinese students, the Program Solutions Team is thrilled by the vast majority of relationships we observe
 between international students and their American families. Nevertheless, misunderstandings occasionally arise, as can be expected when two parties from differing cultures share a home. We strive to not only mollify misunderstandings that do arise, but to prevent common miscommunications from occurring in the first place.

作为寄宿家庭与中国学生间的主要联络人,我们惊奇的发现国际学生和美国家庭间的关系处理是主要的问题。尽管如此,矛盾仍会偶尔会发生,当来自不同文化背景的两方同处一个屋檐下,摩擦是不可避免的。我们尽我们所能去平息这些必然发生的误解,同样也会及早去避免一些常见沟通误差。
 

In order to ensure both host families and students are acutely aware of some of the more common cultural discrepancies they may encounter, we will outline three of the common areas of miscommunication between host families and students: food, transportation and communication styles. We hope that this information will empower you to further facilitate a fruitful relationship between your school, your international students and their host families.

为确保寄宿家庭和学生明确知晓他们将要遇到的常见文化差异,我们在此概括出双方可能在三大领域出现的问题:饮食、交通和交流方式。我们希望以下信息可以帮助你们形成学校、国际生和寄宿家庭间的友好关系。
 

Before expounding on these three topics, however, it’s crucial to understand a cultural nuance that contributes to many misunderstandings between international students and their host families:many international families view the host family as part of the service they receive from their school or from Cambridge since this is how the process would work in many other countries. Although Cambridge endeavors to dispel this notion, it often takes time for students and families to adjust to this cultural difference.

在详细分析这三个问题之前,我们必须知道,文化方面的细微差异会导致国际生和寄宿家庭间发生很多误解:很多国际学生的家长认为寄宿家庭服务是他们从学校或剑桥获得的服务之一,这个方法也在很多其他国家适用。尽管剑桥努力想要消除这种观念,但是学生和家庭需要很长时间去适应这种文化差异。

3 Most Common Cultural Misunderstandings

三大常见文化误区

1. Food:

   饮食

1. In China, food is almost always served hot. A standard Chinese meal includes soup, vegetables, a starchy carbohydrate and meat.However, in the US, cold food is very common (cereal, salad, sandwiches, etc…).Typically, when students complain about food, it is less about the quality of the meal and more about what cold food symbolizes to them; the student believes that they are being given cold food because they are being punished or the host family does not care about them enough to provide hot food.

1.在中国,食物总要加热来吃,一顿标准的中餐需要包括汤、蔬菜、淀粉及碳水化合物以及肉。可是在美国,常见的都是冷食(麦片、沙拉、三明治等)。当学生抱怨饮食时,大多跟食物的质量没有多大关系,主要是因为冷食在他们心目中的象征,学生得到冷食会觉得自己在受惩罚或者认为寄宿家庭对他们关心不够,不在意他们才不会给他们准备热食。

Preventative Measure:

预防性措施:

Host families should begin by explaining to students that the cold food they serve the student should not be seen as a punishment or symbol that they do not value the student; rather, it’s the same food American hosts would serve to their own family and friends. Additionally, host families can explain to students that this is a great opportunity to experience the genuine American lifestyle by eating the typical American cuisine.

寄宿家庭应当给学生解释,他们提供的冷食并不是对学生的惩罚或者寄宿家庭认为学生不重要;相反的,国际生得到的食物和寄宿家庭提供给自己家人及朋友的一样。另外,寄宿家庭也可以跟学生解释说,品尝典型的美国食物是在体验真正的美国生活方式。

Cambridge also encourages students to occasionally volunteer themselves as cooks for the family. This is a great way for the student to teach the host family about the student’s culture and can be parlayed into a group activity in which the host family and student cook together.

我们鼓励学生偶尔尝试自愿为美国家庭下厨烹饪,这是教寄宿家庭认识学生自己国家的文化的绝佳方式,还可邀请寄宿家庭成员一起加入,变成一项集体活动。
 

2. Transportation:

   交通安排

Students in China have far more autonomy than their American counterparts in terms of mobility due to a sophisticated Chinese public transit system and a bevy of transportation options (subway, bus, taxi, walk, etc…).It can take time for Chinese students to adjust to the car-centric American lifestyle and relying on host families for transportation. Subsequently, Chinese studentsare not used to informing host families in advance of when they will need a ride and can sometimes forget to do so. This misalignment of cultural standards can lead to frustration for both parties.Students may feel confined to their American home and school, while the host family may feel they are not being given appropriate notice as to when they may need to provide the student a ride.

中国学生借助高密度的公共交通系统及多种交通方式(地铁、公交、出租、步行等),比美国同龄人有更多灵活的空间和更大的流动性。中国学生需要一些时间去适应以私家车为中心的生活和交通方式,其交通主要依赖寄宿家庭提供。中国学生不善于提前告知甚至会忘记告诉寄宿家庭他们何时需要用车。这种文化偏差会导致双方都很尴尬。学生会觉得自己受到住家与学校的制约,而寄宿家庭也会觉得他们没有被给予适当告知,不知道什么时候该帮学生安排交通。

Preventative Measure:

预防性措施

Students and host families should set up a transportation scheduling system that details the expectations of both parties.Host families should explain that they are happy to provide students with a ride, but they will need a certain amount of forewarning for planning purposes (e.g. 2 hours advance notice).Again, the key to this communication is to explain that this is the same treatment the host family would expect from their own family.

学生和住家应当制定一套交通日程表,详细列出双方的预期。住家应当向学生解释说他们愿意为学生安排交通,但是他们需要学生能够提前一定时间给予告知(例如提前2小时告知等)。再次重申,交通问题的关键是解释给学生,住家的处理方式也同样适用于自己的家人。
 

3. Communication styles:

   交流方式:

The concept of “saving face” is highly emphasized in Chinese culture and can lead to a lack of communication on the part of Chinese students. Unlike in the U.S. where we are taught to politely but directlyaddress disagreements or conflicts, in China such an open confrontation would be deemed rude.When students encounter issues with host families, they are afraid of embarrassing their host family by raising their concerns. In fact, most students would sooner request a new host family than face discussing a disagreement with theirhosts. Moreover, Chinese students are fearful that they will not be able to maintain a smooth relationship with a host family once an issue has been discussed openly. This lack of communication can be frustrating for host families since they cannot fix problems of which they are not aware.

在中国,“要面子”的文化会导致中国学生缺乏沟通。而在美国,他们所收的教育使他们礼貌而直接的去谈论不同的意见或矛盾。在中国,这样直接公开的对峙被认为是粗鲁的处理方式。当学生跟住家发生矛盾,他们害怕提出质疑会另住家难堪。事实上,多数学生会很快要求更换住家,而不是面对面的与住家沟通问题。有些学生害怕一旦他们去跟住家公开讨论矛盾,将无法保持平和关系。这会让住家非常沮丧,因为他们不知道问题发生在哪里,所以根本没有办法解决。

Preventative Measure:

预防性措施:

Unfortunately there is no simple solution to this discrepancy in communication styles; a family (or school) cannot simply expect a Chinese student to disregard the communication style they’ve used all their lives in lieu of the more direct Western style. Instead, host families should be aware of this discrepancy and seek to proactively engage students if the hosts sense something is awry. For instance, if a host family sees that a student is not eating the food the family provides, simply asking the student if they like the food will not be successful because the student will offer the answer they expect the host will want to hear. Rather, the host family should ask the student what types of food they prefer, as this will allow the student to communicate their preferences honestly without fear of embarrassing the host.

很遗憾,面对沟通误差,我们没有一个简单有效解决方式。住家或学校无法简单的让学生用更直接的西方的沟通方式取代他们平生一直在使用的方式。住家应该知道这种矛盾,如果住家意识到问题即将发生,就应与学生一起积极寻求解决办法。例如,一个住家发现学生不愿意吃他们提供的食物,如果他们只单单寻味学生是否喜欢他们提供的食物,将不能解决这个问题。因为学生会给住家一个他们认为住家想要听到的答案。相反,住家应当问学生他们喜欢什么类型的食物,这样会鼓励学生跟住家诚恳的交流他们喜欢的东西,而不会感到让住家难堪。

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